this one got away from me...
It's been really nice to take a break. To stop thinking about it constantly, to just rest & enjoy life. Unfortunately, I can never truly stop thinking. Not just about this, but about everything.
I question God about it a lot. I have a difficult relationship with God (and religion, because it's pretty hard to separate the two, isn't it? As much as the new, cool version of Church chants about it being about a relationship & not a religion....theres still an awful lot of really old rules. And looking at it outside of the Church goggles, a lot of it looks suspiciously like the same indoctrination, controlling techniques ect...and not super awesome. You can change the outside, add lights & smoke machines, new lingos & catch phrases....but it's still the same. I have to question it. Most of the time I feel like I'm getting a sales pitch.)
I keep telling Andrew that we should look into converting to Catholicism. At least it's honest, they're pretty up front about their beliefs & rules...and the new Pope seems to have his priorities straighter than most pastors I've seen. (I had a pastor that drove a Z thing..car...350? And this Pope drives around in an old ford or something.) You don't see Catholic churches splitting up because the congregation can't decide on a carpet color. Plus, theres a safe distance. I feel like that balance is really important. And I like that it's beautiful, and that the prayers and rules are the same ones that have been there for thousands of years. Theres something awe inspiring in saying the same words that have been prayed thousands of times for thousands of reasons by thousands of others.
And then Andrew, my wonderful, logical, husband, reminds me that we don't need to go to a priest for forgiveness, and that the Catholic church doesn't have the best track record as far as women go. So, theres that.
I believe in God, I believe in the Bible. I also read in the Bible that Jesus acted in love, and that we're commanded to do the same. I believe that God loves me and saved me, despite the fact that I am flawed, and imperfect, and not good enough. I believe that He intelligently created me, specifically for this time. I believe that He has a plan and that I might not know it, but that it's my responsibility to make the most of it- by loving people. By using my abilities to make this life a little bit better for someone else. I don't think He's bothered if I cuss, or drink, or listen to secular music. I don't think He's as worried about how I view homosexuality, as much as He's worried about how I choose to treat homosexuals. People matter. Thats why Jesus healed the beggars and the lepers- the least of people. Because He knew that they mattered, they were important, even when the "church" of His time had abandoned them as unclean & not worth it.
I need a church that isn't trying to sell me something. Whether it's with the "free love" aspect (an anything goes environment) or with the lights, smoke machine, Sunday morning rock show, or with the good ol' boy yelling from the podium- they keep trying to sell Jesus. When did He become a product and a brand?
What I wish for every year is a church I can go to, with a simple message (no dumb jokes to break the ice, thank you very much) worship, prayer & communion. No shouting, no shaming (It would be cool if there were some fellow geeks that I could carry on a conversation with too.)
Holy off topic subject Batman! This topic got away me....I was going to talk about the 3 hour glucose test I have tomorrow. WRONG. Guess I had some other stuff going on in my head.
Sorry if this offends anyone, it wasn't written with that intention. I wasn't even sure where I was going with this- it literally just ran away with itself.
I'm not taking it back though. :)
I question God about it a lot. I have a difficult relationship with God (and religion, because it's pretty hard to separate the two, isn't it? As much as the new, cool version of Church chants about it being about a relationship & not a religion....theres still an awful lot of really old rules. And looking at it outside of the Church goggles, a lot of it looks suspiciously like the same indoctrination, controlling techniques ect...and not super awesome. You can change the outside, add lights & smoke machines, new lingos & catch phrases....but it's still the same. I have to question it. Most of the time I feel like I'm getting a sales pitch.)
I keep telling Andrew that we should look into converting to Catholicism. At least it's honest, they're pretty up front about their beliefs & rules...and the new Pope seems to have his priorities straighter than most pastors I've seen. (I had a pastor that drove a Z thing..car...350? And this Pope drives around in an old ford or something.) You don't see Catholic churches splitting up because the congregation can't decide on a carpet color. Plus, theres a safe distance. I feel like that balance is really important. And I like that it's beautiful, and that the prayers and rules are the same ones that have been there for thousands of years. Theres something awe inspiring in saying the same words that have been prayed thousands of times for thousands of reasons by thousands of others.
And then Andrew, my wonderful, logical, husband, reminds me that we don't need to go to a priest for forgiveness, and that the Catholic church doesn't have the best track record as far as women go. So, theres that.
I believe in God, I believe in the Bible. I also read in the Bible that Jesus acted in love, and that we're commanded to do the same. I believe that God loves me and saved me, despite the fact that I am flawed, and imperfect, and not good enough. I believe that He intelligently created me, specifically for this time. I believe that He has a plan and that I might not know it, but that it's my responsibility to make the most of it- by loving people. By using my abilities to make this life a little bit better for someone else. I don't think He's bothered if I cuss, or drink, or listen to secular music. I don't think He's as worried about how I view homosexuality, as much as He's worried about how I choose to treat homosexuals. People matter. Thats why Jesus healed the beggars and the lepers- the least of people. Because He knew that they mattered, they were important, even when the "church" of His time had abandoned them as unclean & not worth it.
I need a church that isn't trying to sell me something. Whether it's with the "free love" aspect (an anything goes environment) or with the lights, smoke machine, Sunday morning rock show, or with the good ol' boy yelling from the podium- they keep trying to sell Jesus. When did He become a product and a brand?
What I wish for every year is a church I can go to, with a simple message (no dumb jokes to break the ice, thank you very much) worship, prayer & communion. No shouting, no shaming (It would be cool if there were some fellow geeks that I could carry on a conversation with too.)
Holy off topic subject Batman! This topic got away me....I was going to talk about the 3 hour glucose test I have tomorrow. WRONG. Guess I had some other stuff going on in my head.
Sorry if this offends anyone, it wasn't written with that intention. I wasn't even sure where I was going with this- it literally just ran away with itself.
I'm not taking it back though. :)
we're (as in Tony and Myself) and we are catholic. Feel free to go on a trial run with us to St Josephs Catholic sometime, they have the best choir/orchestra too :)
ReplyDeleteI meant to put "we're geeky and we're catholic".. apparently that got away from me too!
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